The left in America and Europe often accuse this country of perpetrating ludicrously convoluted conspiracies upon the poor and dark skinned peoples of Mother Earth. These theories, such as President Bush knowing in advance about the attacks of September 11th or that the Israeli government told Jewish workers not to go to work on that day, are fool's gold for the incensed retread hippie masses that increasingly populate the mainstream of the Democratic Party and their bed-wetter comrades in Europa. Regardless of logic and reason the U.S will always be assumed to have orchestrated situations like the current crises in the Middle East. No matter what America does it will carry the moronic beliefs of the fools on the left and the equally unstable perceptions of the Arab street around its neck like an anchor.
Unfortunately America is also seen by much of the world as a dopey good-natured giant, which will ultimately take the constant barrage of insults with an appreciative smile. Well I say we start living up to our reputation. Why shouldn’t we? We’re going to catch flack anyway, so let's act the way we are accused of and use all means at our disposal to alter the Israeli – Lebanese crises to our own malicious benefit.
· Step One – Divide and Conquer.
Iran sees itself as establishing a Muslim superpower that would encompass Arab and Persian countries under the rule of the Supreme Islamic Council. Sunni countries like Egypt, Jordan, and Saudi Arabia are already wary of Iran’s imperialistic goals. We should use this to our advantage. The C.I.A. should step up activities in all three countries. Plant bombs near Sunni holy sites with the sole purpose of being found and traced to Iran. Cyber attacks against Saudi financial institutions or missile attacks against cargo ships in the straight of Hormuz would also be effective. The trick is to use the frequency of the attacks to override instinctual Anti-Israel and Anti-American bias.
· Step Two – Blame Israel.
This step is difficult but is necessary to provide cover by seeming to be “even handed” by signing onto one of those wretched anti-Israel resolutions the United Nations regularly trots out. The resolution should be non-binding but it must condemn Israel for...whatever.
The fools in the MSM and the BBC will pronounce this as a cataclysmic shift in U.S - Israeli relations while it will really just be a distraction as we prepare step three.
· Step Three – Ayatollah Assahollah.
Covertly insert a Spec Ops team into Iran with a nuclear bomb. This bomb should then be detonated in Iran's Eastern desert. In the confusion the Iranian government will be slow to respond. Since the bomb will go off in an unpopulated region it will be widely assumed to be an Iranian nuclear test. By locating it in the East this will severely agitate the Pakistanis, who will take it as a serious provocation. Thusly it will strengthen the regime of Pakistani President Pervez Musharaff. It will also plant the image of a mushroom cloud over Moscow in the mind of Vladimir Putin.
· Step Four – Blood for Oil.
Convincing the Saudis to not go nuclear is first. Convincing them to issue a religious edict or Fatwa Fatwa Muhammad Jihad against the Iranians is second. A declaration from the Saudis condemning Iran would make military action by a U.S led coalition attractive to many worried Arabs. By promising to fairly divide Iran’s oil reserves amongst chief coalition allies nations like China, India, and Russia would get them to act out of self-interest and aid in the fight, which would mean a swift defeat of the Mullahs and enough residual troops to stifle any insurgency.
¶ 9:07 AM 1 Comments
Man I 've been writing up a storm lately over at The Dick List, and Charlie asked me to be the executive editor of ass aficionado. Considering this blog was really set up for me to fuck around in html I really have been letting it slide. I guess really I've just been to busy to get the violent fits of rage necessary to post to this particular site. ¶ 2:39 PM 0 Comments
Shit I contribute to three blogs gimme a break. ¶ 6:58 PM 2 Comments
Well summers here and you know what that means: insects, sunburn, skin cancer, huge increase in the crime rate oh the joy. All that stuff bothers me but what sucks most about the hell that is a humid New York summer is my fucking lawn. Actually its lawns, we're lucky enough to have two homes across from each other in my neighborhood and for some reason I have to tend for both.
Now I hate to make this just another tedious "this is my life" blog so I'll end my complaints and apply broader social commentary to my bitching.
The desire to have a nice front lawn is not an ingrained human trait. We aren't spit out of our mothers wombs with the desire to buy turf builder. Yet in the burbs there is pressure to have the best kept lawn. Why? Because humans respond quickly and predictably to pressure. If through advertising a corporation instills a feeling of impotence in someone then that someone will act to restore a feeling of being complete. You aren't man enough to maintain your lawn no wonder the old ball and chain is cheating on you. This is really just a case of a manufactured void for your money to fill in. The most cost effective way of dealing with your lawn is to pave it over. What's worse is people have become so jaded by suburban life that cutting their own lawn is out of the question they would much rather have another Xanax or Big Mac and watch some illegal aliens do the work for them so they out-source their own voids for others to fill gaining some vicarious thrill I suppose.
Now I know that I:
- Read too much into things
- Am prone to fits of blinding rage
Charley Sheen aka Number 3 was insanely jealous over my side project so not to be outdone he went off and started his own. I don't give Charley much credit but I think he really has got something with this. ¶ 7:21 PM 0 Comments
Get a load of this horseshit.
I happen to like Godsmack. They are loud and aggressive just like me. The lead singer sat down with this punk-bitch and gets ambushed with this anti-military rhetoric. What in the previous 5000+ years of human history has convinced this punk-bitch that we have somehow moved beyond the need to have a military. For him to attack the lead singer of a rock band for supporting the United States Military demonstrates how far liberals have deviated from any sembalance of reality. Yes War is hell. In War there is unspeakable suffering, but there are also great acts of humanity and courage. To say Arthur lives in a Fantasy world would be an insult to all the gnomes, and elves out there. He has evolved beyond such constraints and exists in a perpetual state of psychedelic mushroom dementia.
¶ 6:45 PM 0 Comments
I never mind when a woman leaves me, they always look better on the way out.
¶ 12:05 PM 0 Comments
Pamela Rogers is hot. She is a teacher. She had sex with one of her students. Give her a medal.
All kidding aside who cares, I don't know why she had sex with the kid obviously he is a minor so there are no pictures of him available, but the kid must be swinging. Now the naysayers who deride this womans actions spout clinical crap about how the child was too young to be able to deal emotionally with the repercussions of sexual activity and that she prayed on the closeness of the teacher/student relationship. I have even seen male talking head morons complain with a straight face about the double standard concerning how male teachers are treated by the court system when they have sex with a student. Well here is the difference: when men have sex it involves penetration. If the female is unprepared for the throbbing male member it can be, even for a full grown women, a painful experience. Men are easy. I hate to break it to you ladies but a man can rub himself up against a wall and get the same end result as a three hour tantric sex marathon.
The only down side for the minor that I can see is the fact that this bitch was:
- Extremely hot
- Extremely horny
This gives him a potentially off kilter view of what to expect from women later in life. Honestly look at her, I hate to say but for this poor lad there is nowhere to go but down.
It is nice that people wish to apply equality to all things, usually for their own selfish reasons, but all things are not equal, and all situations are not the same. If you can't see the difference between this woman having sex with a teenage boy, and a man having his way with a teen girl you have been blinded by your own bullshit. ¶ 5:30 PM 0 Comments
